Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
