that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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