My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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