ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Shitshow foam night was such a success
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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