There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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