but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
