Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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