so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize