My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
