Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
