Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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