Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
