Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Small penises have feelings too.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Randomize
