We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
