'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
