he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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