OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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