It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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