You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
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oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
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it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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