theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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