I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
