Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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