Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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