im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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