yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
