DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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