Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
