i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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