I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize