Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
My ATM looks so different sober.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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