Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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