piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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