I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
