I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
