Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
