she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
