fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
