is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
