matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
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