It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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