DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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