I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
