is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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