I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Randomize
