Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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