Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize