That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
