i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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