Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
