The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
