North Korea, Best Korea!
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
