My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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