I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
