careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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