Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
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I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
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He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Shame - the story of my life.
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