I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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