you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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