I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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