thus making me awesome and them whores
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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