Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
