This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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