But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
