how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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