Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
