I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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