Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
