it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
