Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
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Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
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you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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